Dear readers,
Something magical happened tonight. For the past several days I have hated being here in London, I have consistently got annoyed and sworn. On the weekend I resented having to get “dolled up” to go out clubbing, even though it was two of my best friends’ birthdays. I have been suffering with being weighed down by financial constraints and having my wings clipped by fate, keeping me in a country that is not my spiritual home, far away from doing things I enjoy and values that I like. And so, after so miserably failing to upkeep the loving kindness in my heart, I gave the opportunity to think of others. On the weekend, realised that I was not getting dolled up for myself, nor was it important, or where we were going. It was about my friends, their birthdays. Being there for people who needed my presence and making sure that they enjoy their night. As much as I felt lighter, I continued to enjoy thoroughly enjoy myself, letting my hair down, even though I no longer fit in with the drinking or clubbing lifestyle.
And tonight, when I got home, I was feeling just as bitter about being cut away from the lifestyle that I want that any of the recent days. But a change happened. And how wonderful it feels. From all the misery and complications that life can give you, such as suffering from loved ones and or having financial debt, sometimes having the courage to step out of ourselves and carry out a service to our a fellow mankind and loved ones can fill us with so much happiness that you are recharged and ready to take on the rest of what life has to offer.
This night, my mum came home and she confided in me about her current spiritual struggles that will boggle anyone’s mind. What did I do? Well, for the first time in many times, I put my own judgements, opinions and expectations behind only to discover a different, better side to my mother and her situation. Through sitting with her, showing compassion, care and concern, no matter how little or far I agreed with her comments, led me to have a beautiful moment of enlightment, when I felt that I was relieved of my burden and eleviated with great happiness, brimming with it so much so that I felt as if I was shining and surrounded by cool air. OH, I don’t know what exactly happened tonight. As I was discussing my mother’s situation with her, and helping her to come to her own enlightment, I was suddenly blessed with a moment which uplifted my mood and burdens, as if touched by the hand of “understanding” and “Love”. I cannot stop smiling and my body feels wonderfully minty and tingly. We sat to meditate, as I was compelled to pass on this wonderful surge of loving energy that came through my body with my hands. I don’t know why, but my hands felt so cold? I felt as if my temperature came down a notch?! I feel so happy and excited. Something happened, and I don’t know what. All I know is that this tingly, minty sensation, eleviated feeling, love and happiness should stay with me and reside with me for as long as possible, so that I can continue to share it with others. My mum said that she didn’t feel the energy I mentioned above coming off me, but instead told me that she felt very warm and loving enery that filled her heart. 
Perhaps people should hold hands more often??!
This is for all my brothers and sisters, I hope if you read this posts you get to feel even a glimpse of the sensation I am exprience at the moment and let it be blessed, whether in the name of Jesus, Buddha or Friendship!
I hope that you all take it easy on me, as never in a million years did I think that my second post would be so intimate and revealing about myself or my thoughts, and I trust that you will measure your judgement of me kindly for sharing this experience publicly (and hopefully won’t think I’m crazy 
).
I’d like to think the moral is about helping eachother, valuing our interdependance in this life and our energies together . Peace and Love to you all.
Jin Feng
PS. I don’t expect that my future posts will be full of such profound experiences, then again who knows. This is deffinetly the first of it’s kind and I have certainly enjoyed the inspiration.
Have you experienced anything similar? Do you know what this experience means? Have you been through similar experiences?
Namas, when your mind is focused on the outside, then it brings problems, a tightness to your soul, your being. Because outside is limited, circumscribed. Inside you are limitless, or as much as you allow, because we are not there yet? That was why when you were able to let go, you felt a lightness within, a happiness that you described. We are all humans, and it is easier being focused on the outside than on the inside. We need to keep body and soul together and nobody is going to do that for you, so it is not surprising that we are all so caught with making a living and keeping up with the joneses. What to do? I always think there is something seriously wrong with the world’s economic system(s). Have you noticed, some people have to hold down two or even three jobs just to have enough on the table for their family. Others ,for example, literally kick a ball around and get paid indecently. Still others do nothing, an idea and voila! set for life. And still others… Haha. Life is mad or maybe god is mad.
Namaste ordinarymalaysian! I really enjoyed how you explained that! You are right, I did feel as if I just let go in that moment and focused on empathy and understanding the other person, putting my own opinions aside. That wasn’t easy, because my values clash with my mothers totally! But instead, I chose to be there for her and show her kindness by listening and comforting her, no matter how little I agreed with her ways or thinking! In regards to economy, we can write several blogs about that, but ultimately it goes back to your initial point that the outside is limited. I stopped buying clothes when I realised that the “wanting” never stops and I couldn’t be bothered to take part in an eternal hamster run. Was it Malcolm X who said although he is imprison, they have not taken his freedom! As freedom can be achieved only from the inside in our hearts and minds. I will have a little research on where that quote came from exactly and put it on here!
What you are doing now, you are on the right path. There are times when we have to let go, go inside and find the peace within. I am not talking about escaping from the conventional reality. Everything is real in it own aspect. What is, is real now. What is unreal in the conventional sense, is also real. You will be surprised that what science has been able to say in so far as it is able to, is very much in conformity with what we all know inside when we stili our mind and allow silence to prevail. Okay, not to bore you further. Whatever you do, do it with the totality of your heart with the caveat that whatever you do, does not harm others. And peace is yours. There is a vast mystery out there waiting to be discovered and experienced and do you know, even Buddha missed! Namas.
Hi ordinarymalaysian! or can I call you OM?
Thank you for your encouragement. That is a very Buddhist philosophy that you speak of, which I embrace open heartedly- you will never bore me, it is always interesting to hear peoples opinion and being involved. So do not hesitate to write your thoughts as long as or as short as you want. In rgd. to doing everything with the totality of our hearts- I am a firm believer that every human being knows the answers from inside themselves, if only they practice to listen, they would hear everything they need to know. I believe this is done by practicing listening to intuition/ gut instinct, and heart ofcourse. The heart is a muscle which also needs to be exercised, so in this world of distraction and falseness, it can be key player to learning and achieving our true path. I am leaving you witih a quote from Eleanour Roosevelt, however I would appreciate if you clarify with what you meant by the comment that even Buddha missed?
“People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.”
Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 – 1962)
jinfeng, you can call me Om, or you could call me jinhuangdi. I have started a blog on sports, pastimes and reflections at http://jinhuangdi.wordpress.com. If you happen to be an Arsenal fan, it will be a great coincidence and you may be interested to read. There are already a few posts published, so you are welcome and maybe you would like to leave some comments. Om is supposed to be the primordal sound. And it is interesting that science is now saying that everything that exists may just be vibrations. Have you head of the string or M-theory? Do NOT be alarmed when I said that even Buddha missed. Zen masters themselves say that if you meet Buddha on the street, just kick him! And this is not meant to offend. The meaning is both deep and mundane. Slowly,slowly…as you go deeper and deeper into yourself and become calmer and calmer, you will understand. Nobody comprehends the whole. Buddha is not, you are. Meditate on this. You know, all things come to a pass. Meantime, namas and joy and peace to you and for you.
Hey Om, very nice sound.
thank you for the link, I will have a look even though I am not a big fan of sports (i like some rugby- 6 nations). I have not heard of the theories you mention and thank you for explaning what you meant about Buddha missed. I am a firm believer that Buddha is within ourselves, but this also means that I struggle to understand why we bow down to Buddha as that is if acknowledging he is outside instead of. If you bow down to a buddha, does that not go againt our interest? Thank you for your warm wishes, love and light and the same back to you. Jin Feng
Hi, Jin Feng, I just read your comments in my sports blog! Thanks. You are right. That’s what the Zen masters mean when they say kick Buddha if you meet him. You see, we are all buddhas. Bowing or not bowing to Buddha is not the the issue. There is no need to bow to a statute of Buddha. If you bow, you are just bowing to the whole humanity, to the divine in you so to speak. If you bow because that is expected, you miss. I have to leave now, the Arsenal-Sunderland match is just coming up on TV now. Sorry, but will keep in touch. It is 10.45 pm, Malaysian time here. Namas, and may peace, joy and love be with you. Just remember, nothing touches you adversely unless you allow. Everything comes to a pass, but you are.
Hey OM, thats for clarifying. Hope you are keeping well.
Hi I’m from your Chinese class at Goldsmiths!
The girl who did BA History and went about 2x and only got to talk to you once :’(. That post just reminded me of what I read in my Bible today:
‘He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.’ – 1 John 4:8
‘If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ‘ – 1 Corinthians 13
I had the same feeling as you the first time I saw God. Somehow I knew it was Him because it was kind of like recognising an old friend. But it’s funny because I did nothing about it for about 5 years after and continued living my life normally. I mean at the time I didn’t care about religion, or even think that God was relevant to me in any way, so I just never thought about it again. But during that time Jesus worked in my heart and began to build a relationship with me and helped me to get a lot more out of my life than before. I’m really happy you had that experience and hopefully many more to you. God’s grace and love inspires me to wake up in the morning each day and give that feeling to others… Even when you have those days when you just feel like you want to give up I just think that it’s so amazing that He never gives up on any of us…He always reminds you that He is there and loves you to bits. Because of God I feel sure that I want to live my life with Him and without compromise. Although I’m not perfect, it’s really good to have a relationship with a God that is and who works in people’s hearts to help us grow in understanding, love, life and Him every day. xx Blessings
P.S. I think that your entire blog is just fabulous! Thanks for sharing <3 On our spiritual journeys the road is long but truly amazing, fulfilling and wondrous…
Hi Dionne! Again, sorry for the delay, I was so sure I responded to this!!
I was certainly thinking carefully about what you said!
I can’t say that I’m in a very good place of spiritual practice at the moment, so your quotes are very helpful and interesting. I don’t feel God’s love when I’m depressed, it’s been so many years now that I sink in really deep waters into the abyss of worry and depression, I wish I had more help with being healthy.
I look forward to hearing more from you, and I’m glad you liked my blog.
Let me know whats new with you and if you’ve had any recent interesting life lessons to share.
Jin Feng!
Jin Feng!
God has been so good to me…
He has pulled me out of permanent depression and at first I was really reluctant to trust God with my life but I realised that I had to let him in completely, because I couldn’t do it on my own.
I just asked God to help me. I found it hard to look after myself for about 8 years. And this time I was being bullied at school every day and I was really reluctant to seek God in a Church as I had also been bullied there when I was younger, so I had no reason to want anything to do with Christ.
But from the time I saw Him, Christ took it one step at a time and helped me to move forward with my life. He helped me to look honestly at myself, at my mistakes, to forgive people who I thought it was impossible for me to forgive and right now God is teaching me how to live. Yes, it’s true, I still make mistakes, there are still some things that need to be resolved in me and I feel that I still have so much to learn! I’m currently learning the lesson of being more consistent (I don’t think that this lesson will ever end! XD)… But now I live in hope, because God has done amazing things before in me and so I know that God can do it again.
But whatever has happened to you then or is happening to you now, just remember that you are so, so much more than your past and you CAN overcome it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3GOtpwITPQ
Never forget that ‘You are fearfully and wonderfully made.’ (Psalm 139 v 14) Never forget how loved you are and what your life is worth: http://www.fathersloveletter.com/text.html.
And that actually, it’s at those times when we are at our most spiritually despondent that we can have our greatest breakthroughs… Don’t worry too much about progress, but just remember that ‘There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens’ (Ecclesiastes 3 v 1)…
But whatever happens in the future please continue to share your heart – keep posting because it’s a joy to see you grow! Jia you!
xx
Dear Jin Feng,
As long as the mind keeps running away from us, we experience the madness, that keeps us on our toes. We turn inwards and realise, that the very vast lake of peace and joy is present within our very selves.
There have been moments in my life, that almost broke me and circumstances forced me to turn inward and there I found the solace, that I needed.
Your experience showed you, that the inward journey is, in fact, the outward journey.
Thank you for sharing that experience. It enriches the readers.
warm regards
Suren