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Archive for October, 2012

Rantings…


I always thought the question is how to stop “feeling”. I judged emotions, being emotional. Turns out a better question may be “how I can start living?”. Filling your heart will love has no use in over- intellectualising every matter, because as many things with life, things just don’t make sense! (If anyone has found some sense to falling in love and other similar “accidents” please let me know!)  And so what? Should we sit there and ponder them forever, blame ourselves “Why am I thinking this? Why am I feeling this?” But how often do we think ” Who I am, How I feel and what I think is a utmost natural reaction to the circumstancces of my life”. Release that pressure!!!!

This is the beginning of my status on a social network I am part of, which resulted in perfect timing between my own observations and experience of life, met with the serendipitous stumble- across an internet friend’s photo which simply said “Emotion is the key” written on his own hand. This came at the exact right moment it was supposed to as it moved me to write this very article. I am a person who has always tried to avoid my emotions, being scared of them, disliked them, blamed them or even felt angry at them. I did not want them, I did not want to feel, the good or the bad, just make it numb! For a sensitive girl like me, life can be quite a roller coaster, but on the other hand, am I really that sensitive/emotional? If I talked in detail about the things that have happened to me over the last couple of years (my whole life even), people would be stunned! (Though may be nothing in comparison to others, the point here is that we don’t give ourselves enough credit that what we are going through is our natural response to life).  I would never have guessed that” is the answer most people can come up with when hearing some what of a shocking past. More frustratingly, people often tend to get misinterpret smiles and laughs and take that as a token that “everything is OK”. This exact same friend explained why he had penned this slogan, stating

“I wrote this because I am my sons soccer coach and all the strategy in the world doesn’t work. If you are excited they play well. If they do something well– tell them. If kids play til 10 years old, then teach them strategy. Otherwise cheer for them.”

This precise statement had a lot more meaning for me than my friend realised, which kicked started a conversation that was at least very interesting to me, as I was beginning to learn and capitalise on my learning, which led to me ironically pouring out my FEELINGS and not my THOUGHTS as I usually do, on my status.
If you are interested to see the continuation of this original post, born from this fun and exciting moment for me which helped me free myself from SO much self judgement and criticism, then please read on!

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Hey folks, this is a super quick posts to really apologise to you guys for kind of leaving without informing anyone. I was actually genuinely building up to telling people what’s going on with me but I found it too hard, and have had to take almost a year out to get on my feet. (more…)

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