Hi Everyone
Lately there was a big hoohaa over the internet about the girl who posted quite negative things about dating Chinese men just after one blind date with a Chinese guy, so my darling friend and favourite blogger Jocelyn over at Speaking of China urged all girls who have experience to share their stories too, to show other versions and experiences with the following in mind:
The more of us that publish thoughtful pieces that transcend the usual stereotypes and assumptions, the better for those readers searching for information on this topic.
So before we get into my person experience with dating a Chinese man, lets get some facts straight. First of all, I think many would agree that the media heavily influences the status quo. I mean you just need to take a look at teenagers to see how they become clones of their favourite rappers, movie stars, singers etc to see how influential the media is on what is the social norm. With that in mind, have you noticed the negative images constantly and consistently been dished out at the expense of Asian guys?
Let’s look at the stereotypes.
1) He has a small winkie. Oooh this one makes me laugh.
2) He is a nerd, super smart, scary smart and probably has glasses coz that’s what smart people wear.
3) He is boring, unadventurous, unmasculine, feminine even, and probably doesn’t like to have sex.
4) This is a big one, not only is he not apparantly able to get laid and always gets turned down by chicks but quite likely he might be non sexual all together NO libido, or don’t even know how to use it.
5) He must know kung fu.
I can’t even be bothered to go into more of them. I mean are you guys for fricken real? How can even stigmatize a whole race based on these bullshit lies??? I ask how many people who comment on the size or love making ability of Asian men/women have actually been with one?
Do you know even someone as hot, talanted and handsome as Jet Li had an (I’m sure very beautiful) scene with Aaliyah kissing which was CUT from the final edit, like many other scenes in movies with Asian guys actually getting on with beautiful girls.
Why? Well why else? Why are there stereo types of black men, latino men, all type of men in movies generally which are negative? Well, to make the white man on top feel like he is the conqueror, the most elite of the lovers in the animal kingdom. I find that even black men love to jump on this bullshit stereotypes of Asian men, their endowment and love making, its just racism, racial prejudice all over for men having too much competition to deal with so they don’t want to cut Asian guys a fricken break in movies and give them the damn lead roles, and sex them up and hook them up with whoever damn it, coz let me tell ya. Women who exclude Asian men from their partner list because of what they have heard, or their own prejudices, are MISSING OUT BIG TIME.
I mean I can’t even be bothered to give actual more examples of how Asian men are pretty much shunned in every single movie there is. You can observe for yourself, next movie you watch with some asian guys, check out the messages they are sending out to people. This is what people think, since not many people even mix outside of their own culture to find out what the truth really is anyway. With this being said, I will try to calm down a little and talk about my own experience.
I have only fallen in love with one Chinese guy. It was unexpected and I myself never imagined I might end up falling for a Chinese man, not because of what I saw or heard, it just didn’t cross my mind. But it happened, and that caused me to do endless research on cross cultural relationships, experiences of white and black women dating Asian men, speaking to friends, reading articles on Chinese culture, speaking to both Chinese male and females on dating culture and culture in general in China that helped me gained a lot of understanding on my journey with this man.
So for the purpose of trying to generalise (which of course is impossible as everything said will vary depending on the individual) here are the deductions I have come to realise from my very short and narrow experience of dating Chinese men and Chinese dating culture.
Money- The guys will generally pay for everything, ranging not only from your dinner, but train tickets, locker tickets, shopping at the supermarket, little presents etc. For Chinese men it’s very important to be able to provide for their partner, and generally have a DATE TO MARRY culture. Means that when you become bf and gf, (generally) it is considered that its possible you will marry in the future and have that in mind. Having said that, the boyfriends concern would be to make sure he is earning enough so that he can provide for you. Money making is a serious deciding factor for many relationships in China still, as the man prefers to be if not the same, higher earning status than his partner. This is considered manly, without it, the guy is quite likely to feel not enough, insecure, emasculated. Money and earning power is so important to the extent that there is a saying that if you want to marry you have to have the CAR, HOUSE and GOOD JOB, otherwise you are not marriageable as a man. For the women, it is also common culture that if she is too highly educated, earning very high, or a whole class/social background all together from the guy, then quite often this is a deal breaker, no matter how in love the couple is. This can be due to the man’s inferiority complex, societal pressure, or pressure from family to list a few. In fact, one of the reasons my relationship broke was due to the reason of difference in social background. ” You deserve a better life than I can provide. You deserve a better man.” is a typical comment made, of course sometimes a cop out, but also quite likely genuine belief from a partner who breaks up due to the (lack) ability to provide financially all together or at the same standard as the female.
But from my own boyfriend, I found out he was quite generous. When I lost a lot of money he simply transferred what I had lost in my account, so that I can continue traveling, just to make me happy even though he was not there with me. Of course he didn’t want the money back. Secondly, when were were out on dates, he would never accept me to pay for a single thing, even though I kept insisting, but he was giving me these terrible looks, explaining how much a guy loses face if the girl pays for him. He was also generous on my birthday, bought me a lovely watch, and I have to be honest, even though I do not agree with this, he spent A LOT on our dates together. I read in some places that some guys would even take loans out from their friends just so they can court the object of their affection properly. By the way, I am not saying to other men reading this that this is what they should do. None of the things I am saying unless I explicitly say so are things that I am encouraging or not. It’s just feedback of info.
In addition, I found that my boyfriend thought very quickly about marriage. He didn’t explicitly say, but I just had the feeling. One example is when we were in a shop, I came in with the intention to buy some things, but looked around and bought nothing. When he asked me why i didn’t buy anything, I said I didn’t like anything. He commented that this was very good, and seemed impressed with my spending habits. Clearly the process of weighing me up as a future spouse had already began.
Sweetness- I am not sure if this is about many guys but mine was certainly sweet. One of the sweetest guys I have ever met. (And please no, that doesn’t deduct any of his masculinity points OK, good sweet guy does not equal to lacking in man power, believe me).
For example, I gifted him with some poetry on a piece of paper before we were together which he kept in his wallet for almost two years ( I didn’t even know most of the time). Or when i was walking his eyes would follow me so persistently that I thought his neck was going to crack and laser beams were going to start coming out. He even sometimes would watch me from a far or another room just doing my daily things, just to have an eye on me and keep those memories close to his heart. Before my birthday, he would call all my friends to remind me that is my birthday and ask them to take me out and take care of me.
Dating to marry is certainly one factor which I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE about Chinese men. Sorry, I don’t know if it’s because I am Bulgarian or whatever it is, but I just don’t like to date for no fricken reason OK? I have a heart, emotions, my time is precious, I am good, and too valuable to share my time in relationships which are not going anywhere. For a gal like me, dating Chinese men who are designed to date to marry almost is a breath of fresh air.
What i Love most about Chinese guys is that….. they don’t run for the hills at conversations about marriage or babies, or girl’s periods, or farts… Just so down to earth. And no I am not saying that doesn’t happen in any other culture, it’s just what I have found to be common in Chinese guys. For example, after a year or so of dating my guy, when I had to desperately share my innocent thought of having thought about having babies together (not suggesting it) I was pretty sure that my guy was goign to run for the hills at the mention of my thoughts. You would not believe my surprise when he said “Me too!”, as in he has thought about it too and excited about it at that!
Responsibility- is a word that my ex loved, but also common for Chinese men I think. There are the types who once you sleep with the girl that is it you are destined to be married. But more so connected to financial responsibility- being able to set up a family. Although me and my man were happily in love, when were officially got into a relationship, very quickly his calculator began to work that actually the reality of us being together was quite different from what we wanted. He considered our distance apart, his financial and career prospects, visa/immigration rules, and my personal needs for having a boyfriend who will be there for me, and found all these things clash with his ability to be provide for me. Chinese men typically are seen as good when they almost work themselves to death damn it and he just felt that I would feel too lonely if I had to wait until he finally made his goal, moved abroad, made enough money etc. Too risky business, risky of my heart, risky of another man taking me away, risky for the sheer possibility that it might not even at all happen. Total deal- breaker for many guys, who are traditional like mine. For traditional guy, not being able to provide equals to being cut off from your balls. How are you supposed proudly bring your wife home, if her family a richer, how can you show your face, how can you assure them that their daughter will have a happy life? How can you bring her to your own family who may not own that much?
This leads to one of my least favourite aspects of Chinese culture which sometimes happens in dating too- white lies based on gaining/losing face. I say white lies because there is no bad or cruel intention behind them but its a pain in my backside. I will just give examples of the type of behaviour I experienced. First of all, my ex would talk to my friends about our relationship before talking to me, including his personal thoughts and worries such as not being able to meet his responsibilities towards me. This peed me off big time, huge cultural difference. In China it is discreet to chat with the friends first because they can offer advice as they know the girl well and will save heartache from discussing difficult topics thus avoiding hurting the girl. For me, this is a big no no. Our relationship is private first, and when it comes to big things such as discussing the possibility of break up, I believe I should be the first to know, not my friends who then in turn couldn’t tell me and it ended up being like a huge secret which I hated. Secondly, after break up, my ex told one of my close friends he is interested in a new woman and some other bullshit just so she can come and tell me, persuade me he is a bad guy which would lead me to thinking he is a bad guy and forgetting him faster- or so he thought. Again, with these somewhat immature and naive but genuine intentions, more misunderstanding happened further lifting the cultural barriers up. These kind of games which are done by the male for the female’s good might be understood by a Chinese girl who understands the culture, but in my books, at the time I viewed break up as a rejection, talking to my friends as a disrespect and betrayal, and his lack of wanting to open up as the most difficult aspect of our relationship all together. Of course after many months of reflection I have learned to understand the situation much better and see that this guy did love me at one point, but damn did we get lost in translation. In fact, he was trying to do the honorable thing and save me years of hard time waiting for him to organise a visa. In his words, he didn’t want me to waste my youth waiting for him for things that might not even happen. Little did I know that his earlier visa to Europe was rejected at the same time of the break up. Little did I know that he had been working hard including spending money and figuring out ways even on the black market to try to get to England where I live, even though his work is nothing to do with England but else where in Europe.
This shows the secretiveness aspects to some Chinese men’s personality. A lot of guys (so I have heard) would rather not tell their partner something good they are working towards unless it actually happens, to avoid her disappointment or ruining her hopes. For example, in the first year that I knew my guy, after many chats, not even once did he say he was interested to come to England until one day he showed me a certificate of a business venture he has set up. Or a little later just before our break up, when i was moaning that he is not spending enough time with me, only when I kicked up a fuss did he let me know just how busy he has been, even going as far as creating an Identity card of a country affiliated with UK just so we can be together. Or perhaps I am too idealistic and not counting his selfishness enough into the equation here of him wanting to come to Europe much before I even existed for him. However I do know he was never interested in the UK before I came along, and spend a good amount of time and money trying to get there in secret of course, just so I don’t get let down.
In some ways, I will never know what the truth behind my relationship break up is. I could have been getting married this year. I feel like I really loved this guy, it was the first time that a man inspired me to be a wife and a mother, and hell I even wanted his five kids. I even wanted to learn to cook and would do anything I can to take care of him even the meaningless for my existence things like ironing his shirts haha
However, c’est la vie. I hope I do find out the truth one day. I think there is enough about my experiences and observations for now, but there are loads of things I have left out that I can continue in another post if I have time and if you guys want.
No matter what happened with my ex, I still think that Chinese men ARE THE BEST KEPT SECRET ladies.
PS. What they told you in the movies about size and bed shaking ability is lies. All lies.
So love you all! Peace out! A new addition to my life is my brand spanking new Buddhist name, as I am not officially Buddhist so although my friends continue to know me as Jin Feng 金凤 my Buddhist name is actually 贤凤 Xian Feng.
So love, peace and donuts!
Vyara 贤凤!
PSS. You also might have noticed that the style, rhythm or grammar might be a little bit worst off than before. Well, that is because I have written super fast, I haven’t even proofread my work, just only roughly, and that is because if I continue to be perfectionist I’m probably gonna continue not writing.
So what I would like to ask if there are some mistakes, unclear points, sentences or things you are not happy about or super happy about, please leave them in the comments, I’ll sort it out or reply.
Naturally, please pay attention I have been explicit to say that my opinions are based on my experiences of one guy and quite extensive research I have made on relationships with Chinese men and Chinese dating culture, however this is only coming from me, and you should not base your decisions on whether to date a guy because of what you read. At the time of dating my guy, I was so totally engrossed in reading about Chinese men and dating culture that in fact I was not paying him enough intention as an individual, with individual streaks and idiosyncrasies and instead based my thoughts too much on what I read instead of picking up the signs that were given specifically by him. By all means get an over view, just please don’t put your heart in everything you read, becauase as people we like to put things into boxes and generalise but actually no one is that boring/ simple/ soulless to be fitted into a bracket stereotype. Get to know your guys personality, while being culturally aware and the rest is awesome. ❤ love and cheese. xxx ❤
Hi Vyara, thank you so much for writing this! I think it’s totally cool that you wrote so much — don’t worry about editing! Most of my posts have a mistake or two. Anyhow, it’s really refreshing that you shared so much — and the people who read this post will find it informative and helpful. Of course, my favorite part is that you called them the “best kept secret”!
Wow, you know chinese men very well, I’m chinese-australian and this is an accurate generalisation as there can be.
OMG! I feel like you’re describing me :). You do understand Chinese men and you’re correct on many things you’ve mentioned. Our values and ways of thinking are very different from other men. Yes, we do work to death sometimes.. endless days and nights. What you hear, see, watch in the media is all BS about Chinese men. Actually, we are above avg in many aspects already. Like I’ve said before, it’s 10 times more powerful coming from women telling the whole experience than the other way around.
Bruce
Wow, reason number one for dating a Chinese guy was money…sounds great, sign me up!
[…] On dating Chinese men… Are Chinese men the best kept secret? […]
There are good and bad experiences in dating any race or nationality of man. It saddens me that something like that would be able to paint AMWF relationships in general. I, for one, have pretty much only dated Asian men my entire life because they’re just what I like. I have dated various ages and social classes. I’ve dated the American-born. I’ve dated the foreign-born. Guys with accents, guys without, guys with good English, guys with bad. I’ve dated complete jerks. I’ve dated complete gentlemen who utterly rocked my world.
The thing is, there’s no set standard of what it’s like to date Chinese guys, or any group of guys. Fortunately for the reputation of Chinese men, there are plenty of women who thoroughly enjoy them. I think it’s great that you’re helping to even things out with such a well-balanced article. Fantastic job. And just know that you’re not alone; there are more women like us who love Chinese men here:
http://www.asianmanwhitewoman.com/
Western women don’t want to hear all those good attributes of Chinese/Asian men. Most women don’t want to hear the truth anyway. Tell me why?
Majority of chinese men will work to death and that’s a FACT!! All Chinese men around me and I included will go the extra miles to provide a better life for our families. Why ? We will sacrifice now for the future of our kids and families . We are the OPPOSITE of western men and that doesn’t mean we are a bunch of sissies etc. How do I know this? Most chinese men express their feelings with me because I’m Chinese and they know that by talking to another Chinese person they can let it all out. As a Chinese man, I can tell you people that we do have a lot of responsibilities. We are expected to take care of our wives, in laws and the future of our kids educations etc. Majority of Chinese men can tolerate their wives parents living with them in the same house and providing for the in laws financially whereas “most” western men will run away / won’t take that kind of responsibilities. In our culture, we are taught to respect our parents and also respect and take care of our in laws like our OWN PARENTS. With this kind of pressure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we really don’t have time to work out/ pump up our muscles. I say this and that doesn’t mean I’m your weak,skinny ,short Chinese man. I will blow your mind away with my new physique and poses. I love it!
Majority of Chinese/Asian men that I know who have all the qualities above won’t be single long. “selling like hot cakes, HOT HOT HOT”. Now I’ve realized why the dating life in my 20’s was so crazy. Who doesn’t want to have a good man or woman in his/her life? In the West, people date several women/men at the same time so it’s very different. If a “good” Chinese man encounters this kind of situation, he might not pursue further.
Vyara, your ex chinese bf did that to you was because he no longer thought a relationship would be a reality. Sometimes, Chinese men like us will sacrifice ourselves for the better of others ( wife, kids, relationship, etc)
Bruce
[…] Yin-yang Jin Feng. Jin Feng (not her real name) discovered a passion for Shaolin martial arts, and after a trip to China, also discovered love for a certain Chinese man. Now based in Beijing, she writes about Buddhism, spirituality and martial arts, and even on dating Chinese men. […]
Might sound quite extreme to those not familiar with the Chinese psyche, but can’t much contradict what you have written, unless I want play the devil’s advocate.
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so I read the whole thing and am so thankful for your article!
I have lived in Beijing for 2 months now (studying abroad for 1 semester), and my Chinese is beginner-level. I am, however, successful at picking up Chinese boys at clubs with my limited Chinese haha. They usually speak a word or two in English (I’m a European-American, speak English), so we get by.
I’ve met 4 so far, and it all ends up the same way with every guy – we have a lot of fun dancing, then he asks for my number, then texts me, i respond, then he never messages again. It’s not like I respond something creepy or too fast/too slow… For instance, he’d text “Wan an” after then night we met, and I respond “wan an :)”. then no messages. so I’m soooo deeply confused about this part!
Do Chinese men expect western girls to take initiative? I thought they were shy, but not THAT shy?
— Need help understanding
Hey. I love your article. I am Polish woman and I am sooooo attracted to Chinese. I just love the way they look. Something about them that no other race of men have. And they are totally sweet. I met my boyfriend on the internet 6years ago and now we are married and have a child. We live in England as Well. Stereotypes about Chinese men are all lies. They are the most responsible,caring,loving, sweet,smart boyfriends,husband’s,sons.Keep your China up girl you soon find your dream man: )
Chinese men are absolutely the best kept secret! This post was so accurate in describing what I’ve seen and felt in my own relationship. The emphasis right from the beginning of a relationship that we’re not merely dating but are a family was first overwhelming, then the best feeling ever.
I’ve found the view of failure in China puts unnecessary stress on a relationship. Nobody perfect and has their life sorted in their 20’s but that strive for perfection is irritating, instead of growing together there means a warped view of great job, baby and lots of money without any struggle. This isn’t a rom-com and I don’t expect it to be.
Such a great post, now instead of studying I’m gonna read you archive 🙂
We are responsible men . Normally, we don’t have bad debts. I’m talking about the majority of Chinese men. We do have good or higher credit scores from being responsible. Most of us will take care of our parents and in laws . We do teach our kids.
You are absolutely right! I’m currently dating one right now for about 3 weeks now. The stuff about them not being good in bed is an ABSOLUTELY wrong. I have dated several racial guys from western to russian and this one is asian. so I know what you’re talking about.
Talking about money, I noticed that he paid for dinner every single time we went out. He never asked me to come to his place and rather drive all the way to pick me up (imagine beating 1 hour traffic after work). Which I thought was super sweet of him and then, he paid for every single dates we went on. Including a massage for both of us.
This is where it troubles me. I know asian men are very traditional and so am I. but living in big city and dating American men only taught me one thing is that, unless the man insists I should always pay for my half. I have always paid for my stuff and kind of used to it. When it comes to my asian man (he’s american-asian), I’m so confused because I’m not sure if should offer to pay for myself or just let him pay. 1) if I do offer to pay, what if I hurt his pride considering that he might be a little traditional. 2) If I don’t offer to pay, then I come across gold digger or cheap, considering he was raised here and don’t believe in ‘men should pay for his dates’. I have no clue as of what he’s thinking. Sometimes, I feel like he might lose interest in me because I have never paid for dinner. Do you think next time I should offer to pay or maybe better yet cook him something (I told him I do not know how to cook which is true. I don’t :[ )
I am a caucasian American woman and have been dating a Chinese man for almost five years. We now live together and are very much in love. He lived in mainland China for his first 23 years and lived in the U.S. for the last 27 years. I would say that he is as equally “Americanized” as he is Chinese. Meaning, he can easily lean either way culturally speaking. He loves and is comfortable in all things American, barely has an accent and is well spoken, he was college educated in both China and the U.S., however, he can easily acclimate to the Chinese culture when around old friends, chinatowns or going back to China to visit family. I can attest that the stereotypes listed in the blog (1 through 5) are COMPLETELY FALSE (except he is very smart). Without getting too personal, he is the BEST lover I have ever had and there is NOTHING about him that is asexual or feminine. The positives are he is very sweet, funny, attentive, doting, care giving, adventurous, interesting, smart, sociable, serious about a future, extremely generous, pays for everything. However, we do have clashes however over what I suspect are cultural differences. Our main issues are his propensity to keep secrets and tell white lies. I hate this and it drives me crazy. He indicates that he does this to protect my feelings and that he doesn’t feel the need to “report” everything to me. It’s hurtful and frustrating and makes me question whether I can trust him. He also has displayed a very bad temper a times. Never towards me, but definitely towards other people. I am not perfect either, I am probably a bit spoiled and controlling and am too much of a planner to the point of sometimes being obsessive (finances, retirement, budgeting, etc.) I also complain a lot about my stresses and job and he NEVER complains about anything. He doesn’t like that I complain so much. I’m not sure if we will make it as a couple, since we do fight a lot over the issue of keeping secrets, but I see on a daily basis that he is a very very good man. It’s one of those situations where if I cannot learn to accept him being secretive, then I can’t imagine a future. However, other than the secrets and bad temper, he is such a good man and I can’t imagine not having him in my life. Anyway, my experience for what it’s worth.
Chinese men are great. They take care of their wife and children perfectly. However, some of them control their wife. I am telling you the truth.
Hey Vyara
I’m a London based Chinese guy.
Would be great to catch up for coffee sometime.
What’s your email addy?
Lawrence.see@gmail.com
[…] Yin-yang Jin Feng. Jin Feng (not her real name) discovered a passion for Shaolin martial arts, and after a trip to China, also discovered love for a certain Chinese man. Now based in Beijing, she writes about Buddhism, spirituality and martial arts, and even on dating Chinese men. […]
What do you say to a guy who is all of the above but wants male dominance? What does that mean in chinese culture? I really need examples.
I’ve date Chinese guy before and all I heard before we started dating was all negative things which I later found was total bull he was extremely kind and very honest and my current boyfriend is Chinese I get the looks now and then when we go out I hear the stupid talks but this days I smile he doesn’t know Kung Fu he is smart ( who doesn’t want a smart guy? ) every day is exciting he comes up with things to do over the weekends am the boring
Like quite a few of the people that have replied on this post, I too feel like you’re describing me. I have been in an online relationship with a guy currently living in China for more than enough for me to be able to relate to a lot of things you have talked about. It’s going great so far, we get a long really well, he’s really open minded and seems like a perfect life partner. This evening I have spent reading through several blog posts about dating Chinese men and I this one seems to relate to me the most as he is living in China and I am still waiting for him to come here and live with me in England. But like I said, reading countless articles some thoughts have come into my head that worry me a little. I would greatly appreciate it if I could tell you my current situation in a message and give me some advice.
Thank you,
Nikita from UK
my email is vyaralovefully@gmail.com
Married to a Chinese male for 39 years. If you can take the high road, get past their family hang ups and cultural dysfunction, you’re golden. Their work ethic and smooth buns kept me hanging in there. Lol.
[…] Today’s guest post is from one of my good friends Jin Feng. We have spent a great time training kungfu in a Chinese Martial Arts school. She writes about her experience in China on her blog YinYangJinFeng and the one or other article on dating Chinese men. […]
Thank you for dispelling the myths of Chinese men. I found my hottie husband when I was 16, and we have been married now for 7 years with 2 beautiful girls.
Do take into account that there can be a lot of family bullshit, but there is just as much in mine. We just tend to avoid the people in our families that are nasty. I find that because of the family unit being particularly strong in Chinese culture that there is less individuality for a child and more of an ownership approach to parenting. It’s difficult to tell my husband’s mom that I won’t force my child to be potty trained before they are a year old. In Hong Kong, my husband started school at 2 and a half, so it makes sense there. In Canada with me staying home with my daughters, it makes no bloody sense. There is far too much demeaning of children and grandchildren, constant comparison with simultaneous bragging to friends. It’s very frustrating to listen to someone complain about the man you love constantly. I realized though being Caucasian in these situation is fantastic, because you can stand up for the person you love instead of being cowed into submission. I feign foreign stupidity and refuse to play the bullshit games. Do be aware that this is a reality in this culture, and that it is your duty as a partner and parent to shut it down. It can be downright toxic.
And to absolutely dispell the myth of a Chinese guy in bed.. My husband made me a complete and total nympho. I still am after being with him for 15 years. He is absolutely fantastic in bed. Not to mention his antomy is absolutely gorgeous. 🙂
[…] Today’s guest post is from one of my good friends Jin Feng. We have spent a great time training kungfu in a Chinese Martial Arts school. She writes about her experience in China on her blog YinYangJinFeng and the one or other article on dating Chinese men. […]
Just know that there is a Chinese saying that goes “hitting is caring, scolding is love”… so yeah, if you is a bad tempered feminist, he might actually get off on it lol
Hi. I enjoyed reading your post. You’re absolutely right with how Chinese spends money to their girlfriend. I had a Chinese BF and he would always pay everytime we go out When I insisted, he gives me mad looking face lol. I’m a Filipino and his mom wants a Chinese girl for him not any other nationality. Idk I felt sad and we are still talking. Idk please give some advice to girls who aren’t Chinese that are in a relationship with a Chinese men.
Some advice that can help. Thank you! Love your blog ❤
I love everything about this post.